Wednesday, April 29, 2026

My Friends, by Fredrik Backman

 

Characters

The One of the Sea

C. Jat – artist, first picture painted at age 14

Three figures: Joar, Ted, and Ali

“C. Jat” stands for Christian, Joar, Ali, and Ted

 

Kim – “KimKim” 

Parents divorced

Dad – alcoholic, complained to friends about Kim and he could hear

 

Joar

Mother – abused, a lot of gossip regarding the way she dressed, poor judgement

Father – abusive to both wife and Joar, worked in factory, injured in accident

 

Ted

Father died of cancer at age 14

Older brother – abused Ted

Mother – worked nights to take care of Dad during day

Ted became a history teacher, stabbed at school trying to protect a student

 

Ali

Dad could not keep a job, moved a lot, mother deceased

 

Louisa – graffiti artist, in foster system, aged out at beginning of novel

Mother left her with neighbors and never returned

 

Fish – Louisa’s friend, died

 

Christian – artist, temporary janitor at Kim’s school, encouraged Kim

Mother – art history professor

 

NOTE: Page numbers are from the 2025 hardback edition.

1.      Discuss the various characters.  It took the author considerable time to tell their stories.  Did that add to your reading or not?

2.      Why were the four such good friends?  What did they get from the friendship that they were not getting in their family lives?

3.      When Ted and Louisa were on the train with the ashes and painting, Ted thinks, “…the artist was right.  She’s one of us” (page 119).  How do you think Louisa would have fit in with the four friends?

 

4.      The phrase “one of us” was used several times to describe the friends and Kim referred to Louisa with that phrase.  Christian told him mother he had found one on pages 216 and 408.  At the end of the book Louisa tells Ted she found one on her travels (page 433).  What qualities makes someone “one of us?”

5.      When Joar’s father was severely injured in a factory accident, the father’s friends seemed suddenly to feel guilty that they knew he was abusive to his family but never said anything.  Why did they suddenly feel guilty?

6.      Were there any sentences that resonated with you?  For example, if you have recently lost someone in your life, what did you think when you read “You don’t wish for happiness when you have lost the love of your life, because you can’t even imagine ever feeling happy again” (page 69).

7.      The author wrote that “Adults often think that self-confidence is something a child learns, but little kids are by their nature always invincible, its self-doubt that needs to be taught” (page 79-80).   Do you agree? 

8.      The author wrote that Christian “changed the world” (page 189) when he told Kim what his mother had told him: “‘All children are born with wings…It’s just that the world is full of people trying to tear them off…Only a few children escape.  But those children? They rise up to the skies’” (page 188).  How did this change Kim?

9.      Did you like all the quotes about art and the inclusion of various artists?  If you are not particularly interested in art, did they lead you to think about it a little differently?

10.  On page 77, Kim thought that “art isn’t chronological.”  This story was not told chronologically.  Did you like that?

11.  Ted wants his ashes scattered in a library because “you don’t have to put up with reality there” and “you can be among imaginary friends…sitting on the shelves and calling to you” (page 306).  What do your library director would think about this idea?

12.  Did you like how the story kept you guessing (at least for me) until the very end?

13.  Did you know right away who Christian’s mother was?

14.  Did you like the ending?  Were you surprised that Joar was still alive? 

15.  The author Donna Tartt is mentioned on page 306 as an author who “describes why a person falls in love with art: ‘It’s a secret whisper from an alleyway.  Psst, you.  Hey kid. Yes, you.’”   She is again mentioned in the Q and A in the back of the Barnes and Noble Book Club edition.   Why do you think she is the only living author mentioned?

16.  Did you like the last sentence?

17.  Would you recommend this book to a friend?  Why or why not?

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